This semester is supposed to be the semester from hell. I’m “only” taking sixteen credits, but I say only because a lot of my peers find it amusing to take nineteen credits simply because they can. I like having a life. And sleep. Mostly sleep. Biology, organic chemistry, calculus IV (for lack of a more descriptive name), and Chinese. This may possibly be the
worst most difficult semester of my college career. (Let’s just say that my university doesn’t exactly make lab sciences–especially the pre-med ones–particularly enjoyable).
After one of the best, if not the best, summer of my life back home working in a warehouse (Yes, a female warehouse associate. No, women don’t need men to lift boxes for them.) and taking 300-level math classes (Yes. Girls can be applied math majors, too.) at my state university, I was dreading coming back to school, to stress, to stressful people. I spent most of my socialization time over the summer with my best friends, and I didn’t/still don’t want to leave them. While most of my peers from college were posting things on Facebook like, “Back on campus finally! So good to be home!” and “So excited to see everyone in a couple of days!”, I was busy thinking things like “Ugh, I don’t want to leave,” “School is going to suck this year,” and “Why didn’t I just go to school in-state?”
Don’t get me wrong, I understand what an incredible privilege it is to get to go to college. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I just have this weird nagging thought that maybe I made the wrong choice about which college I chose, despite the fact that I’m incredibly grateful that I even had options from which to choose.
Today in church, though, the pastor said something that struck me:
It is not a mistake that you are where you are. God has put you there to be the salt and the light–now.
Those two little sentences made me think more than the rest of the entire sermon (which wasn’t that long and was rather dry, so I suppose that doesn’t say that much). Even if my decision was a mistake, there’s still a reason I’m here, doing what I’m doing, now.
This semester should be the semester from heaven. It’s what I always wanted in high school but never got to have; I’m literally living my dream: all math and science classes, plus finally learning Mandarin. I’m working in a lab that I love. The weather will be warm until at least the end of October, probably longer. I know it will be hard, but I want to choose, daily, to embrace it. Because not everybody gets to. And I won’t always get to. But I do now.