I wasn’t quite ready to publish this, but in keeping with my one-post-per month, here you go. Sorry if it’s a little incoherent: I’ve been working on this piece for a while, but it hasn’t really come together how I’d like it to, and I think I exhausted my writing quota today trying to draft a fellowship proposal. You can’t say you haven’t been warned.
A real conversation I found in my texts from over Christmas break demonstrating how I interact with my introverted friends:
“Are you going to the party tonight? I can’t decide if I have the emotional energy to be around people right now.”
“Yeah, I got talked into it…if it makes you feel better, I don’t have the energy either.”
“Maybe I’ll come…and then combined, we’ll have the sociability of a normal person.”
I’m not really into New Year’s resolutions and things like that–I’ll save the reasoning for another post–but one of my “goals” for this academic year was to be more open with people. Part of the problem last year was that I was sort-of-kind-of a total hermit. As in, there were days that I literally didn’t talk. (When I told this fact to the same friend as in the above conversation, they said, “Silence is good, in moderation–kind of like speaking.”) This scared me in a way, because it necessitated being more vulnerable. I think I’m succeeding, at least a little?. I found a group of people with whom I somehow almost instantly connected. (That almost never happens, and I’m still a little amazed that it has worked out so well. There are two introverts, myself included, and two extroverts, one of whom is part-Italian.) Also, at the beginning of the academic year, some stuff happened that forced me to be painfully honest about my past and its bearing on the present with a couple of people, one of whom I know very well and one of whom I know well enough to know that they’re a solid person but not particularly closely (ie, we have a rather unbalanced relationship because I basically dumped my life on them with only a little prodding). All to say, this school year is going a lot better than last, though, so I suppose I’m doing something right?
Also, a note on the title: as a generalization, I dislike personality classifications as they apply to the real world because I feel that they confine people–who lie on a spectrum–to defined boxes. On the other hand, the logical, “T” part of me finds the neat little categories a convenient way to understand the complexities of personality I otherwise struggle to comprehend. Thoughts on this?